
“I don’t need no stinking recipe,” I said. “Billy, wait!” Jillian opened up her laptop. I put on an apron and started cracking eggs into a bowl. We can be done and back before they even wake up,” she said. “What are we going to tell Mom and Dad?” I whispered. “We need to make a bunch of cupcakes to sell.” “Let’s get to work,” she said, pulling some eggs out of the fridge. “It’s a big bottom, but it’s a happy bottom!” I said. “Your rear end is looking especially big today.” “Your hair is looking especially gray today.” I grabbed my purse and ran downstairs as fast as my big bottom would allow. Whiffbacon is a pain in the rear sometimes. I looked shocked and said in my old lady voice: “Young man! Please call me Mrs. “Yo, Whiffbacon, how’s it shaking today?” I asked myself. It would be very embarrassing to go out without a proper-looking rear end. Then I looked in the mirror and gave my rear end a shake. Whiffbacon deserves the very biggest, so I put on the Whopper and covered it with my best dress. Whiffbacon needed something fresh.Įveryone should have fake rear ends. Who wouldn’t buy cupcakes from a nice old lady? So I put on my stockings, my wig, my best dress, and my glasses. If you’re a Crook, you can never leave the house without a disguise. “Okay, get dressed first so we’re ready to go. “We could make cupcakes and sell them in the park.” “Let’s donate a whole pile of money.” She leaned in. We’re just different from Mom and Dad,” Jillian whispered. I imagined the whole celebration:Ī warm, happy feeling filled me. I imagined Jillian and me rolling into the Lucky Dog Shelter with food and toys and medicine. I thought about those cute dogs, and my heart started to go all gooey in the center. “We can’t let Mom and Dad hear us talking like this!” “The dog shelter doesn’t have enough money for food or medicine.” “Look at this flyer! It came in the mail yesterday, and I’ve been thinking about it ever since.” She reached into her back pocket and pulled out a piece of paper. “I want to do a good deed today, but I don’t know what to do.” “Jillian, I … I … I want to-” I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do.

I hopped out of bed and tiptoed down to the kitchen. We both have big feet, big ears, freckles, and a crazy desire to do good deeds. There was only one person I could talk to: my twin sister, Jillian. That’s a big problem! My parents would be mad if they found out that their little boy was turning out to be nice. See, here’s my big secret: I don’t want to rob anybody. Then I imagined the owners coming in to work and seeing that they’d been robbed. So I closed my eyes and imagined breaking into the grocery store and stealing all the bacon. Mom and Dad like to start the day by closing their eyes and imagining which store to rob. They want me and Jillian to follow in their footsteps.

My parents, Ron and Tanya Crook, are famous crooks. If you read my first book, you’ve already met the Crook family. In other words, they would want us to be crooks like them.
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Mom and Dad would want me and my sister, Jillian, to sleep late, eat junk food, and then go out and steal stuff. I just opened my eyes and wiggled my toes. You want to know the truth? I don’t know why I woke up early. I woke up early because a rhino rang our doorbell and asked if he could use our bathroom. I woke up early because a squirrel slid down our chimney and ate my pillow. I woke up early because two birds flew in my window and tap-danced on my head. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form, or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, or otherwise, without the prior permission of the publisher and copyright owner.ġ1 It’s a Bird. Summary: When their thieving parents steal a rich and famous dog, twins Jillian and Billy, who have grown tired of being crooks, must find a way to get Poochie Smoochie back to her owner. The Library of Congress has cataloged the printed edition as follows:ĭog gone! / by Mary Amato illustrated by Ward Jenkins.

Illustrations copyright © Ward Jenkins, 2014 Snarf Attack, Underfoodle, and the Secret of Life:
